Author Topic: This a game and the rules are simple  (Read 1121 times)

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NorCalChuck

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This a game and the rules are simple
« on: April 18, 2018, 04:51:44 PM »
You are allowed to make one entry at a time and you cannot make another entry until someone else has made a contribution. The first two entries are being made to set the example only.
From now on only one entry until someone else contributes.
The name of this game is "Lexophile" which I am told refers to someone with a love for words.

Here is entry number one: I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2018, 04:54:20 PM »
Here is entry number two: To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2018, 08:48:53 PM »
Police were called to a day care, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

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M1911A1

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2018, 09:28:56 PM »
Every time I've played an author on stage, I was type-cast.
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oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2018, 10:26:52 PM »
 I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

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NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2018, 10:24:37 AM »
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2018, 12:08:01 PM »
"Balls!" snarled the queen.
Not because she had to, but because she wanted to.
Steve,
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"Qui desiderat pacem, pręparet bellum."

NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2018, 12:24:42 PM »
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

M1911A1

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2018, 01:26:47 PM »
"Balls!" snapped the king.
Not because he wanted to, but because he had to.
Steve,
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"Qui desiderat pacem, pręparet bellum."

NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2018, 01:30:34 PM »
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

M1911A1

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2018, 01:45:43 PM »
"How to Get Out of Prison" is a con test.
Steve,
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oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2018, 09:44:51 PM »
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2018, 10:20:14 PM »
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2018, 10:50:37 PM »
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2018, 10:56:33 PM »
Wow! Have you seen Virginia's New Jersey?
Where'd she get it? Alaska.
Steve,
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NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #15 on: April 20, 2018, 10:55:46 AM »
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #16 on: April 20, 2018, 01:42:56 PM »
"While I was in Africa, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. What he was doing in my pajamas, I'll never know...And I should've shot him in Alabama, where the Tuskaloosa." —Groucho Marx (Animal Crackers)
Steve,
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NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #17 on: April 20, 2018, 04:02:49 PM »
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

M1911A1

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #18 on: April 20, 2018, 04:23:32 PM »
I can tuna fish, but I can't tune a piano.

I had a fishing boat, but a foreign submarine hooked my line and sinker.
Steve,
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"Qui desiderat pacem, pręparet bellum."

oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #19 on: April 20, 2018, 05:57:00 PM »
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #20 on: April 20, 2018, 10:01:03 PM »
There was a bull fiddle downstairs, but nobody knew what the basement.
Steve,
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"Qui desiderat pacem, pręparet bellum."

oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #21 on: April 20, 2018, 10:42:28 PM »
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

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NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #22 on: April 21, 2018, 10:39:12 AM »
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #23 on: April 21, 2018, 12:21:48 PM »
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

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Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight, and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be.  One hundred percent and then some.

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #24 on: April 21, 2018, 12:53:05 PM »
Paralegal, n., a person who drops from the sky into an enemy nation, to disrupt their judicial system.
Steve,
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NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #25 on: April 21, 2018, 05:26:37 PM »
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #26 on: April 21, 2018, 07:46:30 PM »
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

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Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight, and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be.  One hundred percent and then some.

M1911A1

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #27 on: April 21, 2018, 11:21:39 PM »
Hey, Donald! Duck!
Steve,
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oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #28 on: April 22, 2018, 06:46:11 AM »
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

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Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight, and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be.  One hundred percent and then some.

flyover

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #29 on: April 22, 2018, 07:35:25 AM »
Punny, very punny.

Very well done gentlemen.

NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #30 on: April 22, 2018, 12:58:06 PM »
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #31 on: April 22, 2018, 01:02:23 PM »
Q.: How does a farm girl's response about hens provide the name of a famous author?
A.: "Some're set, ma'am."


(Attributed to Alexander Woollcott.)
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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #32 on: April 22, 2018, 07:16:36 PM »
The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

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Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight, and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be.  One hundred percent and then some.

M1911A1

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #33 on: May 01, 2018, 12:33:35 PM »
The government was breaking new ground to build a new Potomac River crossing.
Every dignitary there was holding a shovel, patiently waiting for the President to show up and begin the ceremonies by reading a speech.
The Vice President, Secretary of the Interior, Treasury Secretary, and Secretary of Urban Development, all just stood there, holding a shovel and waiting. And waiting. And waiting.
Finally, the Master of Ceremonies realized that the President was just too busy to be able to be there. So he went up to the microphone and said: "Well, folks, I guess for this bridge we have four spades and no Trump."
Steve,
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NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #34 on: May 01, 2018, 01:19:27 PM »
Back to the simple ones.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

oldranger53

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #35 on: May 01, 2018, 04:33:28 PM »
When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

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Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight, and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be.  One hundred percent and then some.

M1911A1

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #36 on: May 01, 2018, 07:06:04 PM »
I think that this one comes from a comic strip:

Why was the restaurant's name changed to "Mr. Steak"?
Well, the lady who owned it had originally called it "Miss Steak."

...But I had no stake in it.
Steve,
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"Qui desiderat pacem, pręparet bellum."

NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #37 on: May 02, 2018, 04:14:17 PM »
Does that mean that the original lady that owned it missed her steak?

Tee Hee couldn't let that one just go on bye!
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #38 on: May 02, 2018, 05:44:09 PM »
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

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Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight, and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be.  One hundred percent and then some.

NorCalChuck

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #39 on: May 03, 2018, 09:57:19 AM »
How about this one?
"We will have a good government as long as those that govern are effected by those laws that they pass. When those that are passing the laws are no longer effected by those laws then they will no longer pass good laws."

M1911A1

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #40 on: May 05, 2018, 07:02:44 PM »
Can't laugh out loud... Can only Chuckle.

Jean was laughing, but she got a frog in her throat.


A beautiful girl was walking by a small pond when she heard a frog say, "If you kiss me, I will become a handsome prince, and I will marry you and we'll have lots of children!"
The beautiful girl thought to herself, "Well, nothing bad could happen, so I'll give it a try." And she bent down and kissed the frog.
There was a flash of lightning and a roll of thunder!

All of the denizens of pond agreed that she was now the prettiest little frog that they'd ever seen.
She spawned lots and lots of eggs, which the handsome, princely male frog immediately fertilized, and they lived happily ever after, surrounded by thousands of tadpoles.
Steve,
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"Qui desiderat pacem, pręparet bellum."

flyover

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Re: This a game and the rules are simple
« Reply #41 on: May 06, 2018, 07:55:31 AM »
Can't laugh out loud... Can only Chuckle.

Jean was laughing, but she got a frog in her throat.


A beautiful girl was walking by a small pond when she heard a frog say, "If you kiss me, I will become a handsome prince, and I will marry you and we'll have lots of children!"
The beautiful girl thought to herself, "Well, nothing bad could happen, so I'll give it a try." And she bent down and kissed the frog.
There was a flash of lightning and a roll of thunder!

All of the denizens of pond agreed that she was now the prettiest little frog that they'd ever seen.
She spawned lots and lots of eggs, which the handsome, princely male frog immediately fertilized, and they lived happily ever after, surrounded by thousands of tadpoles.


 ;D ;D  I had never read that version.